Yeah, So Much Trauma and Violence behind Closed doors that Nobody would ever think or Imagine.
Me and my kids are scared by all of that. My Spirit was totally broken and I was totally lost when they literally took my babies from me.
I just Wanted to die. I felt so ashamed and little...I had nothing left to live for. For some reason I survived and suffered it out. I isolated myself.
Somewhere I still had it in me not to give up. No matter How long it took and how many times I failed I managed to get up and try again.
It was for My kids. I was a good mom. I always had us a roof over our heads, food and bills paid.
Me, not him.
The last time I ever had to run and hide from him was in Fargo, West Acres Mall. He was drunk and I was looking for something and he had that evil devil look in his eyes. I knew he was whiskey drunk and was blank in broad daylight. He would have beat me right there in the mall.
I managed to sneak by but he saw me and he started chasing me thru the mall, I was so fkn scared. I ran up the escalators at JC Penny’s and jumped inside a close rack and hid until I didn't hear him anymore.
After that I was homeless and lost. Stayed with my lil brother and finally was able to pull myself together and get help. I went to treatment and I was so ashamed. What everyone thought about me and my family...didn’t care and disappointed in me.
Somehow I knew that I was better than that. That wasn’t me! Battered alcoholic rez woman who got her kids taken away and didn’t give a shit and was a drunk ever after.
Finally I was strong enough to confide in my Aunties and learned they were scared and concerned about me and my kids. Always wondering if we were okay. Hearing stories of us fighting and me beaten up again. They finally called social services. I was angry and turned hateful to them after that.
Just being blinded by all the emotional roller coaster ups and downs of my life.
Wow Im Here!! I'm a survivor!! I did the right thing when I got my hands on my Martymar. I had my own place and from there on I had a big piece of my heart back and once again their Dad and that family tried to be the scandalous ones they are, and take him back.
By that time, I was understanding what happened to me and my babies. That It wasn’t my fault and we were victims of domestic violence...he still does it to this very day!!
I showed all them fuckers, I’m not a fuck up, never was. That in the end it was him!
The baby Brother who did no wrong and I was always made out to be the crazy one. Now look at him! I hope to god he has to finally go to jail for what he did to that young girl...for scarring another good spirit (Neva) she’s gone. No help for her till hes totally behind bars!
Nobody, nobody, not even my worst enemy deserves his abuse. He’s totally insane. A maniac, a ticking time bomb! My son was starting to Act out like that, same way! I was worried about him and we were in therapy at the time. I knew his little mind was still wondering about his dad. He had seen Jodie and her kids beat up by him and then Neva after that. I did everything I could to assure him he was safe and we would never ever have to endure that abuse again. We’re very close. I make sure he understands what's going on or if he's feeling some type of way. Explain the truth and answer everything the best way I can. He’s come such a long way since I've had him. God gave him back to me. One at a time, Im fighting for full custody of my baby. Fuck that I'm not just gonna let him grow up to be like them. Yvonne Showed her true colors! Thought I could trust her and really felt my son was better off with her than me. He’s so spoiled but no, he’s mine and I’m not complete without him.
Oh my god! First time I’ve written about how I truly felt.